There is almost only pain right now and a rushing rotting feeling like in time lapse and no strength. Pointy shards inside tumble and poke when I move and when I don’t. Pain leads to two places only, fury and despair, themselves a fever and a wasting disease respectively, thus compounding the problem. I’ll sometimes take the little white pill that turns me into a sugar cube melting on the back of my tongue, that sucks the pain rot fury despair away like the sand under your feet with the last of the wave. But you can’t just be a sugar cube all the time or you’d miss too much.