I’m drinking too much and getting fat, she told the man, but I’ve learned there’s a lot of self-loathing and self-destruction in the wake of rejection so I’m gonna ride it out and not judge myself and remember when I can that this too shall pass and hope my body can take yet another round and hope it won’t happen again not that I’m so naive as to believe that because I keep loving and one time will be the last time and the destruction will end in destruction. I think I love you, he said. See? she said. This is what always happens. And then you don’t. And then I’m fucked.


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